For the identification of insects and other fauna and flora of South Africa.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Decisions and soul mates

I very seldom write and as most people know by now, I am a terrible writer. Sometimes though, my thoughts travel along lines which seem to go round and round in circles and it seems that I eventually end up with more questions than answers…….

I have often heard about people talking about their “soul mate” and never understood the meaning of it. What exactly was it? People met, fell in love, got married, had kids, a house with a white picket fence and lived happily ever after. Was there something more to it than that?

Or was it that instantaneous feeling of being “at home” with someone? Knowing what their answer is going to be, before you even ask the question? The companionable silences with no need for words? The sharing of the same interests. Or was it more? Was it maybe that they were the extension or other half of you? Did these things happen from the moment you met or did it take a while to get there?

So many questions without real answers and which was better? The slow friendship, marriage etc described in the first paragraph or the feelings in the second? Has it happened to me and you? Will it ever happen? Does it actually exist? What if you meet your soul mate and it is a one sided feeling that is not shared by the other? What if your partner refuses to accept and admit that you are soul mates even when they feel the same?

How many times in a lifetime does this happen? If you actually meet this person but for many reasons, the situation can never be taken to the inevitable conclusion of you being together, what then?

Do we put a label on it and call it fate when we meet that someone special, or is it more than that? How come we found ourselves in that particular time and place? What if we were a minute later or a minute earlier? We could just as well have missed each other by a mile or a day then.
A friend of mine was telling me about symbiotic relationships between some plants and insects, where the one would not be able to exist without the other. Is this true for humans too? Does one human need another especially if they are your soul mate?

A few weeks ago, Gerry from Photo Africa and I were discussing decisions and choices we make in our lives and how difficult they can be, sometimes having life altering consequences.

Well today I made a choice which is definitely going to change my life. It was not an easy one. The difference between what your heart tells you and your mind, can be two totally different things. One can be good for you and the other bad. So which do you choose? Sometimes we have to decide to make a change for the worst, but yet, for your own good. It can take many days and weeks to arrive at a definite conclusion about something, sometimes just a small thing will make us decide to take the plunge and go in another direction.

During my life I have taken immediate decisions on many things and have never regretted them as regret is a waste of time. Who knows if we are making the right choices as we go along, only time will tell.

Maybe we meet our soul mates at the wrong stage of life, when we are old and grey and set in our ways. Do we want to change it? Dare we change it? Are we so scared of taking that final step into what may be the happiest times of our lives that we refuse to accept what is under our noses and would rather forgo the uncertainty of “will it work?”. Have we spent years telling ourselves that we are happy the way we are and finally believing it to the extent where anything else is foreign?

Choices, decisions, yes, no, go, stay – all are part of life’s cycle and the only thing I am certain of is that I myself cannot live in grey areas, it must be one or the other. It cannot be half a life so something has to change and it is up to me to decide on it!! I also know that life is too short to bypass a chance on happiness But what if it’s the wrong decision!!

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